I always wanted to be a boy mom. When I got pregnant, I somehow knew I was having a boy, it was a very clear certainty in my mind. So much so that when a doctor once told me during an early scan that it was a girl, I didn’t feel sad, just… confused. Something didn’t feel right. Later, another ultrasound confirmed what my heart already knew: it was indeed a little boy.
In Brazil, pregnancy care is quite different from what I later found here in Ireland. We usually have ultrasound scans every month, sometimes four to six during the pregnancy and doctors follow the process closely. I actually think that’s wonderful, and I admit I found it strange when I arrived in Ireland and some mums told me things worked very differently here. (I wrote more about the Irish healthcare system here: Irish Healthcare vs. Brazilian Healthcare: Comparative Guide for Curious)
Anyway, back to the real topic: being a boy mom has always been fun for me.
I was the kind of girl who played football, climbed trees, and spent more time with boys than girls. So even though I thought I’d have to learn how to raise a girl one day, being a boy’s mum actually feels quite natural, like slipping into a rhythm I already knew. Honestly, I thank God I don’t have to do cute hairstyles every morning or find a hundred different hairbows for the same head! (Just kidding… well, mostly.)
But of course, there are challenges too.
The first one is teaching my son to respect the feminine. Not from an activist point of view, but from a woman’s perspective, as someone who understands how women should be treated in society. I feel deeply responsible for planting that seed in my child, and I believe every mother of boys carries that same duty.
The second challenge is how cruel the world can be towards boys’ emotions. Society often invalidates their feelings simply because they’re boys.
Even if we, at home, teach them that it’s okay to cry, to feel, and to be sensitive, the outside world still mocks it. Sometimes even other children do. So we end up having to teach our sons two things at once: that it’s perfectly healthy to feel, and that some people will laugh because they were never taught otherwise. That’s a heavy truth for a young heart, and it shows how deeply old toxic patterns still shape our homes and schools.
I’ve had to break many cycles in my own motherhood journey.
And honestly, I think the greatest challenge, whether we raise boys or girls, is to help them feel safe and confident in a world that is fast, sometimes cruel, and often forgets that children deserve respect, care, and love. Boy or girl, motherhood brings different challenges, but equally important ones. I’m doing my best, from where I am, to play my part.
In the end, I love being a boy mom. It has helped me understand the roots of many feminine struggles by looking closely at the masculine, the one who grows beside me every day, learning, feeling, and facing a world still raising too many boys to repeat the same old cycles.
More soul, more stories, right this way:
FAQ — The Joys and Challenges of Being a Boy Mom
1) What does “boy mom” really mean?
Being a boy mom is more than a label — it’s the daily experience of raising a boy with empathy, boundaries, play, and emotional awareness.
2) How can I teach respect for the feminine without turning it into a lecture?
Model it first — through language, attitude, and balance at home. Highlight examples of men who treat women with kindness and equality.
3) How do I support my son’s emotions when society still mocks boys who cry?
Validate his feelings by naming them, normalising expression, and showing that sensitivity is strength, not weakness. Remind him that mockery reflects ignorance, not truth.
4) What toxic cycles should we break when raising boys?
Phrases like “man up”, emotional repression, and permissive aggression. Replace them with empathy, accountability, and repair when mistakes happen.
5) How can I balance freedom and boundaries?
Offer autonomy alongside consistent rules and gentle consequences. Teach him that real freedom grows through responsibility.
